Posted by John Alexander on October 22nd, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
I probably don’t need to list the attraction signals that you find in relationship books. The reason is that if a woman is sticking around talking to you and being pleasant, obviously she doesn’t dislike you!
But it’s always possible that she likes you only as a friend (though unlikely as long as you keep pushing the interaction forward), so my advice is to learn and memorize the following list that I’ve come up with, and then try to forget it.
This is because you’ll paralyze yourself during conversations if you start analyzing small details such as how forcefully she twirls her hair around her fingers.
Once you get enough experience with women, you’ll recognize attraction signals instinctively. The following list of 10 attraction body language signals is in no particular order…
1. She compliments you on just about anything.
2. She feels nervous around you. Look for signs of nervousness such as her muscles twitching.
3. She teases you playfully.
4. She makes an effort to tell you how much she loves the same things you like.
5. She talks about things you guys can do in the future. “You like vintage clothing stores too?” she might say, “We should go sometime!” By the way, this is also something you should bring up with girls. Don’t make it too serious though. Make it like you’re being playful. “We could go shopping for the most pimp looking purple tights on 5th Avenue!” (Say anything playfully absurd that the two of you could do in the future. Keep it verbally non-sexual of course.)
6. When her legs are crossed, look at the foot of her top leg. If it is pointed toward you, it is a sign you’ve got her full attention.
7. She makes an effort to keep the conversation going when it lulls. (Every once in awhile you can even test her attraction by purposely allowing the conversation to pause on your end. Then see if she restarts the conversation.)
8. She touches her face. When a person touches his or her face, it’s a sign that they’re thinking about something. So in order to be sure that she’s thinking good thoughts, look for this signal to be combined with others from this list.
9. She gazes into your eyes and holds her gaze.
10. She mirrors you. (Being passive by nature, women will follow the lead of a man they feel attracted to.) Watch to see whether she…
- Has a similar posture to yours.
- Adjusts the volume of her voice to match yours.
- Adjusts the rate of her voice to match yours.
- Matches the pace of your breathing.
- Laughs when you laugh.
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Posted by John Alexander on October 13th, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
Having dated a stripper before (who I met by being friends with the club owner), I came to the conclusion that they are kind of like sand castles… enjoy them while they’re there, but don’t expect them to be permanent.
Seriously though, the main thing to remember about the chicks at strip clubs is that they view themselves as perfect 10s.
To understand why, let’s look at things from the perspective of a stripper. She’s surrounded by guys paying big bucks just to look at her. To a woman, strippers have a “don’t date customers” policy, even though she knows she can have her pick of any one of them.
You see, the strip club customer is the ultimate beta male. (Don’t feel insulted… I used to be horrible about wasting my paycheck at the local strip joint.) You think an alpha male — a man with abundance of women in his life — would actually pay money just to see a naked woman?! No way!
So you’ve got to break out of the customer mold. Have an ultra-high value mindset and act accordingly. Don’t be like the other guys who just throw money at them.
Tease them and be nonchalant. (Teasing works especially well with strippers.) Be a challenge and act cool.
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Posted by John Alexander on October 4th, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
I want you to start getting a mental picture of yourself as a man of high value. Now, as a man of high value, you need to take the mindset that yeah, you’re interested in the woman, but your interest is conditional upon her good behavior.
By the way, never say stuff to a woman things like, “I’m buying you this as a reward.” Just reward good behavior and avoid encouraging bad behavior, and you’ll find that things will work out better for you.
When you do buy the woman things, never make a big deal out of it. You can even say something like, “I’ll pay for the coffee. It’s no big deal.”
What that says to her is that you’re more interested in the social interaction that the two of you are having and that you’re barely even thinking about the drink you just bought her.
It also means that there are no strings attached. By saying “it’s no big deal,” you make it clear that you’re not putting pressure on her to reciprocate what you’ve done for her.
“Buying-me-things-because-he-wants-something-later” is a behavior that many women consider manipulative and results in the man being denied sex. And to be quite honest, many men fall right into that trap by making a big production out of buying the woman nice things. Don’t be that guy.
Unfortunately, the average woman has gone out with so many men who bought her things to try to get into her pants that when you start buying her nice stuff, it triggers an automatic negative reaction within her. “Eeew, he’s trying to buy sex,“ she thinks, and then she turns off on you. The typical woman is not a prostitute and doesn’t want to be treated like one.
Fine, but then what do you do when the check comes? Well, first off, you shouldn’t take a woman out for a big, fancy date until after the two of you have had sex. Then, take her to an expensive restaurant as a reward for her good behavior.
Your first date should be something informal and inexpensive such as coffee. That way when the check arrives, it’s really no big thing. A basic rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether you’d pay if you’d invited out a casual male friend instead of that chick sitting across from you. If the answer is yes, then by all means do it.
And don’t feel like you’re being taken just because you picked up the tab for coffee. You don’t want to lose a lay just because you were too stingy to buy a $3 latte. The main thing you need to do is to realize why you’re doing things. Never buy things for a woman or do favors for her because you think you need to earn her approval. Instead, adopt the mindset of the alpha male: anything you do for her is conditional on her having earned it.
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Posted by John Alexander on September 25th, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
Here are five nonverbal sexual communication cues that say “I’m charming” so you can seduce girls on a subconscious level.
I’ve listed non-verbals that convey dominance in my dating book. There’s some overlap—lots of those signals that convey dominance, such as sustained eye gazing while you speak, also make you more likable.
However, sometimes dominance signals (such as leaning back) can make you more distant. So where appropriate, you may need to balance your dominance with likeability. (Too much dominance makes you unlikable.)
Be conscious of the following top 5 silent techniques that automatically seduce women:
1) Lean forward when you’re sitting across from someone who is telling you something. This communicates interest in what they are saying. However, it’s crucial to make sure that the woman is highly interested in you before doing this, since leaing back is a way for you to non-verbally play “hard to get.”
Once she’s interested in you, lean forward to give the impression that you’re easy to talk to. It’s not like you’re some chump getting over a girlfriend, for example.
2) Directly orient your body and face towards her. Note that you should have dominance established before doing this, since you lose dominance by being more direct with your body language.
3) Smile. This comes natuarally once you use my techniques to build your self esteem.
4) Have a relaxed and spread-out posture.
5) Dress similarly to your group, but just a little bit cooler than everybody else. If you meet the dress expectations of the people you interact with, you will be better liked.
Again, make sure to strike a balance between dominance and likeability. If you never smile, then the woman won’t like you.
But if you smile excessively, it makes you seem like you have low social status—and you’re trying too hard for approval. Some things such as a relaxed, spread-out posture help you with dominance and likeability, so you should be spread out and relaxed all the time.
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