Posted by John Alexander on October 31st, 2006 — Posted in Becoming Attractive To Women
There’s one simple rule that will separate you from 95% of the other guys out there: dress like a virile, sexual male who exists in a woman’s fantasies.
That gives you options like…
- A vampire
- A cowboy
- A devil
- A rockstar
An added advantage to these sorts of seductive costumes is that they’re easy and cheap to put together.
The vast majority of guys will be dressed as something goofy. At a Halloween Party I went to last year, there were no less than 2(!) guys dressed as cheerleaders. Some other guy was dressed as a frigging piece of cheese!
Let every other guy be asexual and “funny.” You, on the other hand, will be attractive and alpha.
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Posted by John Alexander on October 22nd, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
I probably don’t need to list the attraction signals that you find in relationship books. The reason is that if a woman is sticking around talking to you and being pleasant, obviously she doesn’t dislike you!
But it’s always possible that she likes you only as a friend (though unlikely as long as you keep pushing the interaction forward), so my advice is to learn and memorize the following list that I’ve come up with, and then try to forget it.
This is because you’ll paralyze yourself during conversations if you start analyzing small details such as how forcefully she twirls her hair around her fingers.
Once you get enough experience with women, you’ll recognize attraction signals instinctively. The following list of 10 attraction body language signals is in no particular order…
1. She compliments you on just about anything.
2. She feels nervous around you. Look for signs of nervousness such as her muscles twitching.
3. She teases you playfully.
4. She makes an effort to tell you how much she loves the same things you like.
5. She talks about things you guys can do in the future. “You like vintage clothing stores too?” she might say, “We should go sometime!” By the way, this is also something you should bring up with girls. Don’t make it too serious though. Make it like you’re being playful. “We could go shopping for the most pimp looking purple tights on 5th Avenue!” (Say anything playfully absurd that the two of you could do in the future. Keep it verbally non-sexual of course.)
6. When her legs are crossed, look at the foot of her top leg. If it is pointed toward you, it is a sign you’ve got her full attention.
7. She makes an effort to keep the conversation going when it lulls. (Every once in awhile you can even test her attraction by purposely allowing the conversation to pause on your end. Then see if she restarts the conversation.)
8. She touches her face. When a person touches his or her face, it’s a sign that they’re thinking about something. So in order to be sure that she’s thinking good thoughts, look for this signal to be combined with others from this list.
9. She gazes into your eyes and holds her gaze.
10. She mirrors you. (Being passive by nature, women will follow the lead of a man they feel attracted to.) Watch to see whether she…
- Has a similar posture to yours.
- Adjusts the volume of her voice to match yours.
- Adjusts the rate of her voice to match yours.
- Matches the pace of your breathing.
- Laughs when you laugh.
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Posted by John Alexander on October 16th, 2006 — Posted in Picking Up Girls
Hands down, the best way to strike up a conversation with a woman is to just casually say something like, “Hey, I need a female opinion on something.”
Say it as if you’re not targeting her specifically but could ask that from any woman. Then ask her about whatever you need a woman’s perspective on.
That gets you and her talking for about 2 minutes — and then all of a sudden, of course, the two of you are in a full-blown conversation.
Bottom line is that you can use the “female opinion” pretext in order to gauge whether the chick is even worth talking to. If she’s cold toward you, just say “thanks for educating me” and walk away. (I’ve found that only about 10% of women I strike up a conversation with are worth continuing to talk to.)
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Posted by John Alexander on October 13th, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
Having dated a stripper before (who I met by being friends with the club owner), I came to the conclusion that they are kind of like sand castles… enjoy them while they’re there, but don’t expect them to be permanent.
Seriously though, the main thing to remember about the chicks at strip clubs is that they view themselves as perfect 10s.
To understand why, let’s look at things from the perspective of a stripper. She’s surrounded by guys paying big bucks just to look at her. To a woman, strippers have a “don’t date customers” policy, even though she knows she can have her pick of any one of them.
You see, the strip club customer is the ultimate beta male. (Don’t feel insulted… I used to be horrible about wasting my paycheck at the local strip joint.) You think an alpha male — a man with abundance of women in his life — would actually pay money just to see a naked woman?! No way!
So you’ve got to break out of the customer mold. Have an ultra-high value mindset and act accordingly. Don’t be like the other guys who just throw money at them.
Tease them and be nonchalant. (Teasing works especially well with strippers.) Be a challenge and act cool.
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Posted by John Alexander on October 10th, 2006 — Posted in Becoming Attractive To Women
Watch a man with high status—Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or the millionaire CEO—and you’ll notice that they move differently than the rest of us. They give off vibes that they are hot stuff, and because of that subconscious sexual communication, women get soaking wet over them.
You, too, can create that aura that makes you attractive to women. Use it to seduce married women, when you’re just approaching women who are single, or when you just want to be confident.
Have you ever noticed the way your friends look when they feel like shit? They’re looking down at the ground with their arms crossed, slouching, and giving off other non-alpha behaviors.
Now, think about successful guys. They’ve got girls all over them and some great body language going on.
Here are some body language pointers to use when courting women (and by the way, if you think they’re easy, you’re right… you can make these changes as early as tonight and have even the hottest girls clamoring for your attention):
1) Relax. This is the most important mental state for you to be in.
a) Don’t allow yourself to feel worried.
Just let your worries go, since you can’t solve any problem by worrying. So suck it up, and quit thinking about what might go wrong. Just live life.
Now, I know what I just said is easier said than done (to use an old —but relevant in this case—cliche). You’ve spent your whole life up until now dwelling on thoughts that make you feel worried.
But what is this emotion we call “worry”? When you think about it, it’s simply the fear of what might happen in the future.
Essentially you’re punishing yourself by feeling upset before anything bad has happened. It makes no logical sense to worry!
So the solution is to avoid contemplating your worrisome thoughts anymore. Identify them for what they are—toxic to your emotional state—and let them go. Simply not dwelling on negative outcomes that make you feel upset will reduce 90% of your worries.
b) Breathe through your abdomen rather than your chest.
When you breathe, imagine that you’re bringing air down to your stomach. Feel your belly rise and fall as you breathe.
c) Avoid nonverbal behaviors that are the opposite of relaxation:
· Raising your shoulders.
· Wrinkling your forehead.
· Fidgeting with your hands and/or legs.
· Tightening your facial muscles.
d) Relax all your muscles and slow down all of your movements a notch.
Alpha males generally move smoothly, as if they are in control of time itself. Beta males are nervous and make jerky movements. Imagine you are standing and walking through a swimming pool, where your movements are slow and fluid.
e) Relax your eyes and eyelids.
Beta males hold their eyelids wide open because they are so nervous. Their eyes dart all around. Instead let your eyelids rest. Look straight ahead. Only give things your attention if they interest you. While you’re out and about, do the affirmation to yourself, “I am sexual, I am relaxed, and I am in control.”
f) If someone wants your attention, move your head slowly.
A trait common to many beta males is being so eager to please that when someone calls their name, you see them spin their heads toward the person unnaturally fast.
2) Feel masculine and powerful.
Visualize that you are a masculine man. Do things in your life that make you feel manly, like lifting weights and working out with a punching bag. Take care of your health.
3) Realize that you are a man of high value. Focus on your qualities and ignore your deficiencies. To become completely confident, think thoughts such as, “I am a player who gets girls easily.”
Sound arrogant? Look at it as therapy to get over your lack of confidence.
Obviously you’ll want to moderate at some point once you become successful and know you’re awesome (so that you don’t go overboard in the opposite direction), but until then think constantly about your greatness.
Treat people as if they are already in awe of you before they even met you. If you have to, visualize Elvis Presley: “Thank yuh, thank yuh verra much…”
4) Feel comfortable in your own skin.
An alpha male is happy with or without any particular woman, since he views women as sources of fun in his life—no more and no less. Take the mindset that of course women want you, but it’s no big deal either way. (Make that one of your personal belief affirmations, as I talk about earlier.)
5) Spread out your body.
Take up space with your arms, legs, and chest. Keep your neck straight with your back so that your head is held high. (Something that helped me get used to keeping my neck straight was removing the pillow from my bed. After all, it’s a major challenge to optimal posture when your neck is bent for 8 hours every night.)
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Posted by John Alexander on October 5th, 2006 — Posted in Becoming Attractive To Women
If the woman you love dumps you, the feeling of emptiness is inevitable. There are no easy answers, but there is a strategy to work through it.
First, it helps to keep hanging out with other girls. Just being with girls (even those you’re not dating) is a good way to soothe your feelings. Even if you don’t feel like doing it, just do it.
Secondly, always have stuff you’re occupied with in your life — work, fun and social activities, etc. If you’re ever alone in your house with nothing to do, the feelings get worse.
Finally, there’s a visualization technique that a friend of mine taught me. It may help you, since you’ve inevitable constructed such a strong image of this girl in your mind.
It goes like this… imagine a picture of the girl you were dating. Make it a really big picture that dominates your mind.
Now shrink the picture, and make it part of a Hollywood Squares set, where there are 9 pictures of girls, all of equal size. Fill in the other 8 pictures with other girls in your life (or who could be in your life).
Then, whenever you think of the girl, imagine her as part of that group of pictures. Now you’ve gotten over your ex-girlfriend since she won’t dominate your thoughts as much, and you’re free to move onto other women.
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Posted by John Alexander on October 4th, 2006 — Posted in How To Date Women
I want you to start getting a mental picture of yourself as a man of high value. Now, as a man of high value, you need to take the mindset that yeah, you’re interested in the woman, but your interest is conditional upon her good behavior.
By the way, never say stuff to a woman things like, “I’m buying you this as a reward.” Just reward good behavior and avoid encouraging bad behavior, and you’ll find that things will work out better for you.
When you do buy the woman things, never make a big deal out of it. You can even say something like, “I’ll pay for the coffee. It’s no big deal.”
What that says to her is that you’re more interested in the social interaction that the two of you are having and that you’re barely even thinking about the drink you just bought her.
It also means that there are no strings attached. By saying “it’s no big deal,” you make it clear that you’re not putting pressure on her to reciprocate what you’ve done for her.
“Buying-me-things-because-he-wants-something-later” is a behavior that many women consider manipulative and results in the man being denied sex. And to be quite honest, many men fall right into that trap by making a big production out of buying the woman nice things. Don’t be that guy.
Unfortunately, the average woman has gone out with so many men who bought her things to try to get into her pants that when you start buying her nice stuff, it triggers an automatic negative reaction within her. “Eeew, he’s trying to buy sex,“ she thinks, and then she turns off on you. The typical woman is not a prostitute and doesn’t want to be treated like one.
Fine, but then what do you do when the check comes? Well, first off, you shouldn’t take a woman out for a big, fancy date until after the two of you have had sex. Then, take her to an expensive restaurant as a reward for her good behavior.
Your first date should be something informal and inexpensive such as coffee. That way when the check arrives, it’s really no big thing. A basic rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether you’d pay if you’d invited out a casual male friend instead of that chick sitting across from you. If the answer is yes, then by all means do it.
And don’t feel like you’re being taken just because you picked up the tab for coffee. You don’t want to lose a lay just because you were too stingy to buy a $3 latte. The main thing you need to do is to realize why you’re doing things. Never buy things for a woman or do favors for her because you think you need to earn her approval. Instead, adopt the mindset of the alpha male: anything you do for her is conditional on her having earned it.
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